The Tiny Christmas Thief

Decorating for Christmas with a toddler is less “festive tradition” and more “ongoing theft investigation.”

You start with a box full of ornaments. You finish with a half-decorated tree and no memory of agreeing to this level of chaos. Somewhere between hanging the lights and stepping back to admire your work, a small human has quietly stolen anything shiny. Of course having your child be. part of the magic, you ask them to pick some decorations to add to the tree..now he thinks those are HIS!

Living with a toddler at Christmas is like living with a ferret. A fast one. A loud one. A ferret who only steals objects put up for festivities..The bottom of the tree is immediately cleared, as if looting rules apply. Ornaments are relocated to mysterious places: shoes, couches, toy bins that now contain zero toys and several ornaments. The tree topper has vanished completely. Presumed stolen. No witnesses.

Bells must be shaken. Tinsel must be dragged. Lights must be unplugged “just to see.” Fragile decorations are removed or broken. Some are on a higher shelf “healing” with super glue in hopes to salvage what’s left of it.

By December 25th, the tree is sparse, your patience is gone, and the Tiny Christmas Thief is smiling proudly—surrounded by their hoard.

One day, when the tree stays decorated and nothing goes missing, we’ll probably miss this part the most. The chaos, the laughter, and the tiny hands that made Christmas feel a little less perfect—and a lot more ours. 🎄